Be it faux-hawks, dancing, or the city of Florence, the cast members of "Jersey Shore" love to declare everything their "best thing". Here are some of MY Best Things.
I recently attended a work party at the beautiful home of one of the executives at my company. It was a lovely evening with perfect weather, a fantastic setting/view, kids playing in the pool, lots of great food, an awesome jazz band, a cozy fire pit once it got dark, and, of course, good company. But the highlight of MY night was playing with the pets that live there:
Snuggling up with Nibbles
This is not the first time that I've attended a social event and have been perfectly happy spending the evening interacting with the pets and not the people. In this case I had house-sat for the family a few times before so I was already familiar with the animals (a dog, two rabbits, two turtles, and a fish), and therefore, hopefully, this isn't as weird as it might sound.
If you know me personally I'm sure you don't find this at all surprising. I've always been an animal lover. You can expect to see a lot of future posts about the various organizations I support and my upcoming (but yet-to-be-planned) return trip to volunteer at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary (but I'm publishing it on my blog so now I HAVE to start planning!). In the meantime, here are some of my all-time favorite animal videos:
Last night I got together with some friends to watch the VMAs, and someone brought THIS:
I mean, does it get any better than a cake, covered in icing, with cookies sticking out of it?!
It turned our lips/tongues/teeth bright blue, which was HYSTERICAL (but lesbihonest, after 3 glasses of champagne almost anything is hysterical). In the end we only really ate the "face" so I brought the leftovers in to work today. I can't wait to see who of my coworkers will be walking around with blue lips!
PS. that is a legit Cookie Monster quote in the title of this post. It is from "Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art" (1983). The full quote:
[Cookie Monster sees a painting of fruit] Cookie Monster: Me eat picture! Bob: No, no, no, Cookie Monster. You can't touch the picture. Cookie Monster: No, me don't want to touch, me want to eat. Bob: No, you can't, nooooo! Cookie Monster: Let me eat frame. Bob: The sign, Cookie Monster, look at the sign.
[sees a sign that forbids eating pictures] Cookie Monster: Please don't eat the pictures. Aw, this going to be long night.
I <3 Cookie Monster. Sesame Street was totally one of My Best Things during childhood and I hope it's around forever!
On last night's "Jersey Shore" Pauly D and Vinny coined a new phrase while making fun of Deena's bi-curious exploits: Lesbihonest. I know everyone's all gaga over "twinning" but lesbihonest, this is way better.
"Small coffee, black and an egg McMuffin, no meat"
This is my standard order at the local McD's. I consider it a "treat" (as opposed to my usual boring cereal or instant oatmeal and gross office coffee) and want to keep it that way so I try to limit my "splurges" to about once every couple of weeks, sometimes once a week. I bring it in to work and the coffee is still piping hot when I get in. I add a little bit of 2%, some sweetener, and my morning becomes instantly better. Happy Friday to me!
PS. This is not a "sponsored" post. I just really love McDonald's coffee.
PPS. Unless you feel like losing your breakfast, don't scroll too far down if you ever do a Google image search for "mcdonalds coffee" (though I suppose this could be applied to any Google image search). There are some pretty graphic images of coffee-spill burns - yikes.
Earlier this week, as an earthquake rattled the East Coast, Twitter exploded, we West Coast-ers giggled, which made the East Coast mad, but then they giggled too. The end result:
But now people are boarding up their windows and fleeing their homes in preparation for the arrival of Hurricane Irene. New York, Maryland, Virginia and South Carolina have all declared states of emergency. The Weather Channel is calling it an "extreme" and "extraordinary" threat.
I mean, this is really scary right?
To my family, friends, and readers who might be in Irene's path: PLEASE please do what you need to do to protect your home and get yourself and your pets (read this if you have one) out of harm's way. Seriously, stop reading this right now and GO.
In the meantime I will be praying you all stay safe. <3
PS. Are there really people out there still doubting global warming/global weirding? Really? If so, they need to WAKE THE F*CK UP.
Yesterday while un-jamming the copier/printer for the 1290385419231356754th time I banged my head on one of the doors/pieces of the printer that I had pulled out to access its inky/dusty/toner-y innards. It hurt. A lot. I'm still not even sure exactly how I did it, but at least I got to see some pretty stars.
No need to feel badly though; this is nothing new. There is rarely a day goes by that I don't bump into a coffee table or hit my elbow on a door frame or inflict some other kind of superficial injury upon myself. Mystery bruises/tender spots love to show up on my body unannounced. My boyfriend of 3 years is still amazed by how a simple squeeze on the arm can produce a yelp of pain because he happened to touch me right where I accidentally fell onto a file cabinet the day before.
Somehow, at almost-28, I don't think this is something I will ever grow out of. But things could be a lot worse right? I'll just have to keep that in mind the next time I see those stars.
Let's be honest - Kristen Wiig has been SNL's [most consistent] Best Thing for quite some time now. Sometimes it even feels like she carries the entire show!. She's also the Best Thing that has happened to the female-skewed comedy according to every article written after the release of BRIDESMAIDS this past summer. So in honor of this funny girl's birthday I thought we might enjoy some clips. Here's a list with a few goodies from SNL, though I'm pretty shocked they left out The Laurence Welk Show/Singing Sisters and Garth & Kat - classics, am I right? (Clips of each of those here and here). Also definitely watch these hilarious BRIDESMAIDS outtakes (NSFW unless, of course, you work in my office).
Having done the back lot tour a few times and worked on a project that shot on one of the stages makes this even cooler to me personally, but I think everyone will enjoy it. It's simultaneously OOC but yet so in control.
While perusing CNN.com today I randomly came across this article which I think anyone with "the bug" should read. I was definitely expecting a mention of the Chinese tea scam that I fell victim to in Shanghai (more on that later). That wasn't the case, but I had to share it anyway for multiple reasons.
1. "Never just get on a random guy's camel." Priceless advice.
2. I've visited NYC 5 or 6 times, have done lots of wandering around in the city, but have never met a "CD Bully". They sound wayyyy more aggressive than the Scaries on Hollywood Blvd. (yes, I made up that word, no I'm not the only one who doesn't like them - read this for the full story). To my NY friends: have you ever been accosted? What did you do?!?
3. It's unbelievably sad that people are so desperate that they have resorted to throwing fake babies.
Anyway, as I mentioned, the article also reminded me of the time I got duped in China - a story I'm happy to share, despite it revealing my incredible naivety, if it prevents just one person from falling into the same trap. Here's the setup: I was traveling by myself for a week in China before having to report to Base Camp/"set" on a television show I worked on that shot in the country for a couple months. I wasn't new to foreign countries, but this was my first time traveling completely alone without speaking the language (and the locals didn't speak English. At all). So I was actually feeling pretty proud of myself for having successfully navigated/explored Hong Kong and made it to Shanghai without any hiccups.
After a healthy breakfast of peanut butter cracker sandwiches (my stomach wasn't as happy as I was to be in China), I boarded the Shanghai metro near my hostel and rode to the center of the city. When I got off the train I was a little disoriented so I got out my map and my Lonely Planet and sat down in the public square to get my bearings. Mistake #1. I mean, the only quicker way to write "TOURIST" on my forehead would have been TO WRITE "TOURIST" ON MY FOREHEAD.
I was then approached by a girl and two guys - all Chinese and probably a couple years younger than me - who spoke a little English and were very friendly. They said they were from another part of the country and it was their first time in Shanghai as well. They sat down with me and asked where I was trying to go. I pointed to the museum in my book (which happened to be directly across the street. Woops. I would've figured it out eventually. I think.). The girl, who was doing most of the talking, said it was closed this particular morning and I should come with them to a nearby tea ceremony they were going to instead. What the hell, I thought, it's not like I have a schedule I have to stick to, it sounds interesting, and these kids seem really nice. Mistake #2. *sigh* It seems so obvious in retrospect, but apparently the whole "don't talk to strangers" rule didn't apply for me in China.
At this point I actually asked themif they could show me where the bank was so I could exchange some money. My unfounded confidence had officially turned into stupidity. Thinking back on it I am kinda shocked they didn't just steal my money right then and there, but I suppose there were so many people around that they couldn't have gotten away with it.
Anyway, we then proceeded to the tea ceremony itself where my memory gets a little fuzzy (note: not in a "they drugged me" way, but in a "everyone's speaking Chinese and I don't understand a single thing that's going on" way). They probably did show me a menu of some kind (other folks with similar stories tell of not being shown a menu), but it didn't matter because I couldn't read it and didn't understand the RMB to USD conversion having only been on the mainland <24 hours. There were lots of teas of varying colors and scents and the girl who had initially approached me would try to explain in English what they were. One of the types of tea, which just looked like a dry clump of leaves, opened and blossomed into a beautiful flower when the server poured hot water over it. Superfun! I, happy to be having an "authentic" Chinese experience and blissfully unaware of the shadiness behind it, sipped all the teas presented to me and then picked out some gifts to bring back home to friends and family. When the bill came I do remember thinking that it was unusually high, but I really thought that I was just misunderstanding the conversion. Mistake #3. So I paid with my BofA debit card, walked out with my new "friends" who told me that the museum I originally wanted to go to was now open, and went on my merry way.
Obviously I had no idea I was being scammed - I even took "look at this cool thing I did" pictures of the whole thing:
It wasn't until a couple weeks later when I was finally settled in at Base Camp and connected to the internet that I logged onto my bank account online and saw the damage. I've blocked out the actual number from my memory because it was that horrific, but I kid you not it was in the $400 range. FOR A TEA TASTING AND SOME TRINKETS. To put this in perspective, cab rides in China cost me about $1-3 USD. Hostel stays in China cost me no more than $15-20/night USD. 5-star hotel suites with TVs in the bathtubs in China cost me about $60/night USD. NOTHING, with perhaps the exception of a house or small child, I did or bought in China should've cost me $400.
Apparently, and unfortunately, this is a pretty common scam. I first heard that it was happening to other people when an article came out prior to the Beijing Olympics warning westerners. Now there are even videos on youtube of similar experiences. This guy actually went back:
But hey, you live and you learn, right? At least I can say with full conviction that I will never EVER make the same mistake again.
I recently moved and now only live 1.1 miles from my place of work. I've been trying to get in the habit of walking and not using my car to get to and from the office. Walking, however, still takes >20 minutes and requires me to carry a heavy backpack with a change of clothes/shoes, deodorant, a water bottle, my purse, etc. When a coworker offered to loan me her extra bike of course I jumped at the chance. I figured it would be "so much faster and easier!" and would save me on those days I'm in a rush.
So it's Tuesday morning and I'm about to leave for my first ride in on my new (well, new to me. It's actually pretty old) purple bike. I have a helmet (also on loan) and a brand new shiny/sturdy lock so I am READY. As I get to the end of the driveway a whole handful of things occur to me simultaneously: 1) With the exception of spinning classes and one leisurely ride to the beach on a special bike path, I have not actually ridden a bike since living with my parents (and certainly not as a means of transportation). 2) I have to share the road with CARS and this is LOS ANGELES. 3) The seat of the bike is wayyyy too low , 4) the helmet won't stay on properly, 5) and my backpack is even heavier than when I walk because the super heavy lock is in it. 5) This is going to be far more difficult than I imagined. Basically this could have happened at any moment:
Image credit: newfunnypictures.com
While I did make to the office without incident (thank goodness), every other biker in the vicinity flew past me. I was also a lot sweatier than I anticipated (yum), but that might have been from fear, not exertion. Either way it took me so long to figure out how to lock the bike up in the garage that I'm sure I would have gotten there faster if I had walked. *Sigh*
But I will not give up! This afternoon I will take the bike to the shop across the street for help adjusting the seat and handlebars, and I will look into getting a basket and a mount for the lock. I'm sure with time I'll get used to sharing the road, and let's be honest, it's really not that far and it's all side streets. So even though biking may not be My Best Thing just yet, I'm sure it's just a matter of time... Right?
For anyone out there who's Best Thing is biking, check out this awesome tidbit from Curbed LA. And any tips/bits of advice for a new biker are welcome in the comments!
As Susan Sarandon once said, "The history of women in popular music can, pretty much, be divided into before and after Madonna." The Material Girl turns 53 today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADONNA!
A friend posted this fantastic article written by the Sage of Omaha himself on FB today. I must say, it's really refreshing to hear from someone actually IN that top-most of tiers, as opposed to pundits/reporters/commentators/people-who-don't-know-what-they're-talking-about who claim to know what is best for everyone. I truly hope that this piece is put in front of all members of the "Super Congress," and is read by anyone protesting tax increases for the super rich.
Readers, have any of you ever met W. Buffett? I bet he's awesomesauce. I mean, he frequents Dairy Queen - which is like, my best thing (circa 1993)!
Say what you like about "Jersey Shore", but there is no denying that it is unequivocally entertaining and a fantastic source of previously unheard lexicon. Thanks to these kids we now use terms such as "T-shirt time", "GTL", "DTF", "Grenade", "do sex", etc. Since this blog was inspired by a Deena gem, I thought I would dedicate the first post to her and her fellow Guidos and Guidettes from the show. Here are some other Jersey Shore words to live by:
Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party.
– Pauly D
You're the worst argument person ever.
– The Situation
I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight.
– Ronnie
[While sitting in the fridge] I have to poop.
– Snooki
It could be dangerous to the health.
– Sammi
Seaside's so beautiful, look at the garbage.
– Pauly D
I'm definitely not a saint. If I probably walked through church, I'd fing burst into flames, to be honest with you.
– Ronnie
[From the current season which takes place in Florence]:
Deena: What's that church called? ... It starts with a V. Vatican?
Ronnie: Vatican. That's the one that Leonardo da Vinci painted with his hands.
Vinny: I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo.
